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Most cheating however is undesirable, whether it’s a gambler trying to
beat the casino, the student who cheats on exams, the citizen who fudges
numbers on a tax return, or the CEO who pays himself a multimilliondollar bonus while shareholder profits plummet. But perhaps the most
disappointing, and personally painful, cheating is that which occurs among
lovers and spouses. An unwritten expectation of fidelity is the core of our
sexual relationships.
We expect our partners not to cheat. Sometimes lovers release each
other from that expectation, as in the 1960s and ’70s when ”open”
relationships and ”free love” were part of a sexual revolution that valued
experimentation. The vogue continues to a much lesser degree in the
twenty-first century. For the most part, when two people are in a
committed relationship, monogamy is not only implied, it’s assumed. One
mate at a time is the expectation when you’ve given your heart and soul
to another.
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